My name is Kendra Mosenson and my birthday is on March 19 which is amazing. I'm a writer and cartoonist but more than that I am falling down the U-bend of a toilet right now. It's really slippery and I don't think I'll be able to get out so if you could help me that would be fantastic. I know it's gross to put your hand in the bowl but I promise you can clean it there's really nice Aesop soap on the sink. I can't offer you money for your services but I can vow that I will be very very grateful.

If I get out I will probably continue to watch movies and make dinner for my friends and love everyone in the entire world.